ETHAN BLUMENTHAL

I used to really hate Lebron James… now I only kind of hate him. I kid actually. I don’t hate him at all. In fact, like my highschool girlfriend said about me, I kind of like him. Of course that was right before she broke up with me, but let’s not get bogged down by details. However, I think Lebron and I have good relationship dynamics: I kind of like him and he doesn’t know who I am. I’ll marinate on that one. I, along with the rest of the country which is cold in January..

Saturday, April 14th in the bottom of the 6th inning with the Braves leading the Cubs 10-2. “Change the channel, the Cubs have as much of a chance to win this game as an ugly puppy with chronic diarrhea has of being adopted,” said some Cubs fan. “Let’s leave the game now because according to FanGraphs the Cubs have a 0.7% chance of winning and this weather is as miserable as Tom Hanks’ stay on that island except at least he had a volleyball to play with,” said another Cubs fa

Take out the pine tar, read about how defensive WAR is calculated and start spitting for no reason again because baseball is back. To get you ready for the season I have compiled nine important questions we hope to have answered by the end of this season. Will anyone remember that Aaron Judge is taller than Jose Altuve? This one is big for me. If we titled every season, for example 1998 would be “Sosa, McGwire Home Run Chase.” Then 2017 would have been called “Pictures of Jo