Pick-Up basketball player believes he would have gone pro if he was taller, more athletic.

Jacob Samuels looks like any other basketball player at his local Xsport Fitness on a Tuesday night in December, he’s a 5’ 9’, 170 lbs, 28 year old white male from Deerfield Illinois. While Samuels may look like his 9 other virtual clones in the pick-up basketball game, he won’t be the only one to tell you that he has nothing in common with them. “I mean everyone can tell I’m pretty athletic, I have a good shot, a quick first step, I just got a raw deal when it comes to height and a few other factors.” His father, Greg Samuels couldn’t agree more. “I’ve watched him play his whole life, he’s got something special, there’s no doubt.” The game was tied at 9-9 when Samuels came off a screen and drilled the game winning two. “If I was foot taller, a little more athletic, a little more bounce and could shoot just a tad better, yeah, you bet your ass I’d be in the fu***** show right now.” Samuels was feeling particularly pumped after hitting the game winner and giving his adoring father a big hug.

Other players declined to comment because they didn’t know “who the fu**” Jacob Samuels was.

Update from the original posting of this article:

After Samuel’s father was asked to leave the Xsport as he was not a member, Samuels got into an altercation with Xsport employees which included some trash talk, protein powder and the eventual suspension of his membership.


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