It’s a sad day for baseball fans everywhere as the Chicago Cubs’ legendary announcer, Pat Hughes, can no longer think for himself and istead can only speak in paid advertisements. In a game against the Minnesota Twins last week, Pat Hughes finally succumbed to the disease so many announcers lose their careers to; Chronic Traumatic Paid Advertisements or CTPA.
After a third inning strikeout of the Twins’ Brian Dozier, Pat Hughes said his usual paid advertisement, “Fans won’t strike out with gold coast bank, visit goldcoastbank.net today!” “There was nothing unusual about it,” said Pat’s broadcast partner Ron Coomer. It was right after the Dozier strikeout that it became apparent--something was wrong. The next pitch to Twins’ left fielder Eddie Rosario was a ball low. But instead of calling the ball, Hughes said again, “Fans won’t strike out with gold coast bank, visit goldcoastbank.net today!” “I laughed when he said it after the first pitch to Rosario, I thought he was just messing around.” He wasn’t. The next pitch was a ground ball out and Hughes this time said, “Make sure all of your business deals get across home plate, visit the village of Bedford Park.” “That was when I got scared,” said Coomer. “That’s when I knew there was something wrong. Pat always hated that Bedford Park advertisement, who doesn’t?”
Coomer then looked at Hughes and said, “you alright there partner?” At this point, millions of fans worldwide had tuned in to hear if the great Pat Hughes was finally going to meet his broadcasting end as another victim of CTPA. Hughes then looked at his long-time friend and partner and said with a straight face, “K-A-R-S Kars for Kids, donate your car today.” And just like that, the 36-year broadcasting veteran and the voice of the Chicago Cubs that so many fans love and adore, will never be the same again.
As it was only the third inning at the time, Cubs fans had to sit through six more innings of the nonsense before the Cubs had time to replace him, but the fans weren’t as upset about that as they were sorry for Hughes. “It’s a damn shame,” said Coomer. “We need to be more proactive about figuring out what caused this so we can make sure this never happens again. Major League baseball has been denying the effects of broadcasting a 162 game season for far too long, and now we’ve lost yet another great man due to this horrific disease.”
Coomer will now begin down the arduous path against the MLB, hoping to create more awareness and to effect some real change. He says there is a Hollywood film about Hughes and CTPA already in the works, looking at possibly starring Will Smith as Pat Hughes.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to Hughes, his family and the entire Chicago Cubs organization.
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