The USA men’s soccer team lost 2-1 to Trinidad and Tobago thus failing to qualify for the 2018 world cup, my question is, how did they kick an extra point without even scoring a touchdown? Every four years the world cup happens and the american men do alright and it’s kind of exciting and people go to watch parties and learn about off-sides and that soccer fields are bigger than football fields and they recognize some of the names from playing stupid amounts of FIFA in college and the like. And then radio and tv hosts will say this is the world cup that will finally get americans to like soccer. Then the US get eliminated and people would rather talk to their in-laws about their life-sucking jobs than talk to their best friends about kicking balls instead of throwing them. So the question is, how can we get Americans to like soccer?
For starters, you have to read an article by someone like who me who cares about soccer only slightly more than he cares about his 2nd cousin’s Little League game.
Let’s make the world cup every year instead of every four. The olympics are every four years because it is such an ordeal costing billions of dollars it would be impossible to do it every year. But the World Cup, while it is a special event, don’t give me the argument that it wouldn’t be as special if it happened every year. Have you heard of the Superbowl? Most Americans would give all the soccer balls in the world to have a Superbowl every day, or at least every Sunday. I understand it’s never going to happen but perhaps the world soccer federation (if that is a thing) can bend the rules like Beckham and make it work.
The only soccer moment I remember in my life is that time when Zinedine Zedane headbutted Marco Materazzi in the world cup. For some strange reason, they allow players to all out fight in hockey, it seems absurd, but I will always remember that head butt. So let’s do that more. Also have more players with names with alliteration in them.
Lastly, consider giving up because despite vast amounts of research suggesting the dangers of football, Americans will always like it more than soccer. And despite the NBA dominated by only two teams leaving 28 other teams to fight towards mediocrity, Americans will always like basketball more than soccer. And despite baseball games taking the same amount of time as it would take to fly across the country and then wait in line at the DMV, Americans will always like baseball more than soccer. Hockey of course is just soccer with a thousand times more action with everyone moving faster and more effortlessly. By all means keep trying to find ways to attract Americans to soccer, just don’t count on it.
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