Lavar Ball has just jumped into strong consideration for quote of the year. And no it wasn’t the time he said he’d beat Michael Jordan in his prime or when said “he’s taught his boys that ‘No shot is a bad shot,” or the time he said he could beat Donald Trump one on one at being President. He may not have said that last one but I bet he’s thought it and I bet Donald Trump has too. But just like when Michael Jordan topped himself by winning 5 more championships after winning his first, Lavar Ball has truly outdone himself.
Ball has removed his son, LaMelo, from Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool the 16 year old saying,“I don’t want no distractions on melo.” Lavar Ball homeschooling his son for fewer distractions is like Joey Chestnut teaching disadvantaged youth about not binge eating. Lavar Ball is as big a distraction to the world as the gap in Michael Strahan’s teeth is to the rest of his face. If this is real, and LaMelo really doesn’t go back to high school, then this will be the first time Lavar has actually done something crazy.
Before this, he was just some guy with three athletic kids who said crazy things and made Charles Barkley mad. Now he’s a guy with three athletic kids who’s seriously altered his son’s life and made Charles Barkley even more mad. Maybe Lavar felt like he hadn’t grabbed a headline in a while, or maybe he thought along the same lines as former Ohio State Quarterback Cardale Jones and that LaMelo “ain’t come here to play school,” or maybe he actually thinks this is the best thing for his son. You can definitely get some good work done in the driveway, but there is nothing about practice that can simulate a game. If you want to be a great competitor you have to compete. Not to mention all of the other benefits of high school, like...school.
If I were UCLA basketball coach Steve Alford, I’d probably tell Lavar to stick with wrestling on WWE and put LaMelo back in school. That way he can follow in the footsteps of Jordan, Barkley and every other current and former NBA player who have all played in high school.
And if Lavar desperately needs to grab a headline he should raise the price of the ZO2s to force parents to decide between basketball shoes or health insurance, or put poop in a bag and leave it at Barkley’s front door with a note saying, “from Shaq,” or find a dog and train it to be a better basketball player than Air Bud. The hype train that is Lavar Ball is at it’s best when he spews out nonsense and makes bold claims he knows are false, but not when he actually does the things he says.
I would put Melo back in school and stick to just talking crazy and not doing crazy, but then again, I chose health insurance instead of Big Baller Brand shoes, so maybe I’m just not a Baller.
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