Michael Phelps Wants Giant Statue of Himself


Michael Phelps has 23 gold medals and 28 medals total. He can’t possibly be super sentimental about all of those medals, I mean after all, even he’s admitted, “it’s just a gold medal.” Just kidding, he never said that, but when you have 23 of them I assume you kind of think like that. So what is Phelps to do with all of that gold? Here are a few thoughts I have.

  1. Melt it down and build it into a giant sculpture of himself. Why? Because that is awesome and also hilarious. Is it a little self absorbed? Absolutely, but when you win 23 gold medals you can build as many statues of yourself as you want. Also, he clearly has cemented himself as the greatest swimmer of all time and now he needs to look to being named greatest athlete ever. Michael Jordan has a statue outside of the United Center in Chicago, but is it made out of gold? Something to think about.

  2. Auction all of the medals off, use the money to buy a ton of gold, more than just the gold in the medals, melt it down and make an even bigger statue of himself. For further explanation on this, see number one.

  3. Take all of the relay medals, auction those off as I assume they are a little less valuable to him than his individual golds. Give that money to some charities, I don’t know which one he should donate to, but my advice would be make sure it’s a good one. And then, he should take the rest of the gold medals, and you guessed it, melt them down and make a giant statue and when people come by and say, “man, that statue sure would be cooler if it was a little bigger.” He can say, “I donated the rest of the gold to charity you ungrateful non-gold medal winning loser.”

  4. You’re probably wondering to yourself, what should he do with those non-gold medals? I’ve been thinking about that for a while and you know I actually don’t know.

  5. Just kidding, of course I know, he should melt them down and turn them into a statue of himself and then donate it to a charity under the caveat they cannot sell it. What charity wouldn’t benefit from a silver and bronze statue of Michael Phelps? Exactly.


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