Things that are Better than Watching the NBA All-Star Game


If you have a very limited number of friends or a high number of very busy ones and you didn’t have anything else to do last night, maybe you turned on the 2016 NBA All-Star game. I can’t blame you entirely for it, it was Kobe’s last year, it was still the best of the best doing what they do best and there’s something to be said for that. I didn’t watch the game so I can’t speak to just how silly and unamusing I assume it was. And I know what they say when you assume things. But that is just what I plan on doing. So behold, the list of things I’m assuming were more fun than watching the NBA All-Star game.

  1. Watching the NFL Pro-Bowl. Without question the biggest tossup of the bunch. If you found yourself watching both of these events this year then it should be clear; it’s time to reevaluate. Learn to knit, do some push-ups, call your mom or find some new friends who won’t let you spend your Sunday nights this way.

  2. Eating gluten-free bread. I know that for some people, the whole gluten allergy thing is very serious and I get that, but if someone I cared about deeply asked me to try some of their homemade gluten-free bread, I’d probably say something along the lines of: “absolutely not!”

  3. Taking the ACT again. I don’t know about you, but I found taking the ACT in high school to be one of the more miserable experiences of my life. A friend recently told me the punishment for coming in last place in his fantasy football league was having to take the ACT again and getting at least a 22, a serious effort. I am all for suggesting that for my league, but just note: if I do come in last place, I will find new friends and join a different league.

  4. Babysitting your 2-year old cousin. I can’t speak for other people’s two year old cousins, but mine constantly poops, vomits, eats things that aren’t food, cries, throws things at me and has a very limited sense of humor. For maybe the first 30 seconds he is super adorable and he’s my cousin so I love him dearly. But let’s chat in like 8 years or so, buddy.

  5. Running the Marathon. I love staying in shape but after I ran the mile in PE class sophomore year of high school, I swore off long distance running forever, and I’m not one to break my promises. While I have much respect for everyone who trains hard and runs this gruesome event, let’s never forget: the first person to run the distance dropped dead.

  6. Wrestling a live bear. I know Will Ferrell once did this and he not only came out alive but also a hero (I think so, I haven’t seen that movie in a while). This is one of those classic high risk, high reward scenarios. It’s hard to say for certain if this would be more fun than watching the All-Star game, though I’m assuming yes, but one thing’s for sure--it beats the hell out of eating gluten-free bread.

#NBA #allstargame #probowl #act

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